Dressed for Success

A year ago Scooter was a high school senior doing his first job interview (at a movie theater). I bought him some snappy yet cas duds as seen here.




Cut to last week.

Scooter: Hey I got an interview at [local Italian restaurant]. It's on Thursday.

Me: Awesome! Do you still have the interview clothes I got you?

Scooter: Yep!


Cut to last night.

Me: Get out your interview clothes and make sure everything is clean and ready for tomorrow.

Scooter: I can't find the pants.

Me: You told me you had them.

Scooter: Maybe I grew out of them.

Me: I thought I just saw them! You're telling me this the day before the interview when all the stores are closed?!

Scooter slinks off to take a dump which is how he avoids things.

Cut to this morning.
Still no goddamn pants. They have vanished into the fucking ether or have been abducted by gnomes with a fetish for Dockers.

Scooter: Okay I got the blue shirt (this is on the phone). Oh, there's a button missing. Oh! There are two buttons missing!

Me: Are you kidding me?! So when you said "Yup, Mom I still have my interview clothes" you really meant that you had no pants and a buttonless shirt.

Scooter: hornk.