Lil Scooter, Yankee Doodle, and Coolio

aka "from the vaults"

Three very early Scooterfails involve inappropriate singing. I hereby submit:

Age Four

Scooter was JUST old enough to go into the Men's Room by himself. We were at McDonald's and Lil Scoots trots off to the potty. Ten minutes later I'm outside the door pondering every horrible possibility from 'he fell in' to 'child molestor'. Suddenly the door swings open and out comes a man laughing his ass off. I soon learn why: even from the door I could hear my son singing to himself --loudly-- as he took a dump.

Age Six
I got a call from Scooty's teacher saying that he was singing a song at school that she suspected his dad had learned at Coast Guard bootcamp and passed along to him. I asked what the song was. She said. "One, two, three, four, get your woman on the floor." Stifling a guffaw as I imagined Scooter busting a move in his first grade classroom, I explain to her that it was a popular song by Coolio "1 2 3 4 (Sumpin New)", and the floor he referred to was, in fact, the dance floor.

Age Seven

Lil Scooter came home from school one day and told me he learned a new song. Most songs he brought home involved some sort of violence done to Barney the dinosaur, but this one did not. Sung to the tune of "Yankee Doodle":

Yankee Doodle went to town
Riding on a rocket
Stuck a feather up his butt
And called it Hershey's chocolate

I laughed. So did you. UNTIL I got a call from the school Principal, which went like this:

Principal: Scotty was singing a song in music class that was not appropriate.
Me: *sigh* What was it?
Principal: Something about Yankee Doodle.
Me: *clap hand over mouth to smother laughter*
Principal: (handing phone to Scooter) Sing it for your mom.
Lil Scoot: (miserably) She's already heard it.